A Twilight Zone Day

Have you ever had a day, whether traveling or not, when odd things just kept happening?  I had a day like that recently.  I believe it would be appropriate to file this specific day under the category of “when travel does not go smoothly.”  I am able to laugh about it all now.  I remind myself that it is all “first world problems.”  As with every experience in life, there are lessons to be learned here, but we will get to that later.

Picture if you will: In scenario #1 it is 6:00pm.  I am using the communal microwave on the first floor of the hotel to heat up dinner for Mr. HomeFree and myself.  I complete my duties and head back up to the 9^th floor via the elevator.  All is well.  Normal even.  Then, a recorded female voice suddenly comes out of nowhere and says as delicately as if she is offering me a spa treatment, “This elevator is out of service.”  I stop moving.  It is not like in the movies.  There is no grinding noise or thump.  The lights do not go out (thank God).  I simply stop.  I am alone and still. 

(Cue Twilight Zone music: Doo-doo-doo-doo.  Doo-doo-doo-doo).

The digital number overhead says, “three.”  I see that the only way to call for help is to hit the emergency button, which I presume would call the Fire Department.  I do not want that.  I don’t think the situation is as serious as all that quite yet.  I had my cell phone with me, so I Googled the hotel number and called the front desk.  Luckily, the lady who watched me heat up my dinner answered, and she knew exactly who I was.

“I’m stuck in your elevator.”

“Oh my Gosh!  OK, stay calm.  These elevators are new.  I am calling Engineering right now.”  There proceeded to be a few confusing minutes where she spoke to Engineering, her manager, and me all at once.  I explained that I tried the “lobby” button and the buttons for other floors, but none responded.  She asked what happened if I hit the “door open” button.  I told her I hadn’t tried that because I didn’t want to discover that I was between floors.   I was calm now, but THAT would panic me.  She said Engineering wanted me to press the “door open” button.  Against my better judgment, I did it. The door opened and there was the normal waiting area for the third floor.  Whew!  I sprinted like Jesse Owens off that elevator before it changed its mind and plummeted to the basement.  The front desk lady said she would shut that car down.  I thought that was kind of funny since it was obvious that the spa lady voice in the car had already decided she was done for the day.

“I am so sorry about that, ma’am.  I would like to offer you 15,000 loyalty points.  Please let me know if you need anything.  I mean anything during the rest of your stay.”  The words came tumbling out of her mouth like Niagara Falls.  She could hardly say it all fast enough.

When I got back to my room, Mr. HomeFree wondered what had taken me so long.

“Well, the good news is that we just earned 15,000 free loyalty points. . .”

Picture if you will: In scenario #2 it is 10:00pm.  The new guests in the room next door are engaging in some activity we cannot quite place.  A man is yelling (or maybe cheering?) like he is at an outdoor sporting event.  I am not exaggerating when I say he is yelling at the top of his lungs.  There is very loud music.  The door is propped partially open (making the music clearer for all of his neighbors).  His sings along sometimes.  Maybe he and the occasional female voice we hear are playing a music-based video game or cards.  We just don’t know. . .

Our hotel has a cool sign by the elevator that states there are quiet hours between 10:00pm and 8:00am every night. 

(Cue Twilight Zone music: Doo-doo-doo-doo.  Doo-doo-doo-doo).

Despite the substantial noise, we manage to fall asleep only to be awakened at 3:30am.  We did not think it was possible for the din to get worse, but it has.  He has turned up the music.  We call the front desk and security is sent up to give the man a warning. 

The music and his obnoxious voice go quiet. . . for 90 minutes.  At 5:00am, we hear him cheering/yelling again.  He has been up all night.  Astounding. 

This is not the “No-Tell Motel.”  This is a high-rise, full-service hotel from a major brand.  Again, I acknowledge that this is a “first world problem” and I am about to sound terribly snobby but, I am going to say it anyway.  I was reminded that money does not buy class.

OMG! Epilogue: The next evening we went out for a walk.  When we returned, the people in the room next door were leaving the property under the watchful eye of the local police.  Apparently, the hotel did not take kindly to the “special cigarettes” that they had started smoking in their room. (The smell of which was now floating down the hallway).

So, readers, here are my major takeaways from these experiences:

1. Always take your cell phone with you when riding any elevator. 
2. There is truth in the old adage:  Money does not buy class.

Be well, everyone, until the next episode. . .or full moon. . .or whatever the heck has gone on here.